Over the years I’ve had so many wonderful clients here, but one thing that is spoken about more than others is friends and families opinions on holding your baby ‘too much’.

I know right? *Eye Roll*

Now, if you know me, you’ll know I believe full well than you cannot create a clingy baby. You cannot spoil a baby with love. You baby craves the love, the hugs, the kisses, the cuddles. It helps them grow and become strong confident young adults.

Besides my thoughts, scientific research shows that the children and babies that are held more, are actually more confident in themselves.

While writing this, I did some research on google. I cannot tell you the overwhelming sadness I felt when typing in ‘holding your baby too much’. Endless articles on how to hold your baby, when to, tips on stopping holding them so much.

Why is it the norm to find out ways to hold your baby less? Yes, I understand that we are busy. But why are we too busy to hold our baby?

According to a new study, you can’t EVER cuddle your newborn too much. And in fact, touch is crucial to a baby’s development and actually has some pretty major benefits when it comes to brain development.

So, this blog comes from personal experience. I’m no Dr, not a nurse, nothing in the medical industry. However, I am a mother of three. Three boys who I hug and love on as much as I can.

When clients come into the studio and we begin our talks (I love to get to know you), so many times I am told that their friends and families have told them not to hold their baby too much as they’re going to make them clingy. Clingy? I wish people wouldn’t say this to new parents. All their baby has ever know so far is the warmth and love of their mothers womb. The closeness of that 24 hour hug.

Pick up any child development textbook and you’ll read that between 2-3 months the infant begins figuring out it is a separate being from it’s mother. With this awareness comes separation anxiety or the fear that the mother will never come back. (This lasts from 2-4 months.) This is made worse by the fact that infants cannot yet recall the past. They don’t remember that LAST TIME you came back. They only know you set them down and are leaving them NOW and are unsure of the future so they cry because they truly do NEED you.

Babies are just babies. They are tiny, helpess infants. They need constant reassurance and love. Their needs don’t end just because you have something to do. The cleaning can wait, the washing can go on another spin and that laundry folding can be completed later on.

This next part is for those who believe that they have any say on another parents baby and how they should raise them.

The mother and father you’re standing in front of or speaking to in any way, has just had a baby. They’ve just had 9 months of growing this baby or these babies.
All they’ve yearned for is to hold their newborn(s). Some of these parents have been through so much to have these babies. They could have been through a loss, multiple losses and now finally have a healthy baby.  As a mother who has sadly lost babies, it makes me want to hold my children who I have walking by me each day, even more. Some of these parents have thankfully never had a loss but want to hold their babies just as much.

In the nicest possible way, it really isn’t any of your business. You may mean well, but it can become detrimental. It can make a parent feel they’re doing the wrong thing by holding their child. That they’re failing their baby by wanting to be with them all the time.

They’re not failing, they’re succeeding. Old traditions and old wives tails should not come into it when a parent just wants to simply love on their child.

I don’t want to fluff on for too long and lose direction, its just I am very passionate about subjects like this.

My blogs come from an emotional point of view and I chuck in a few facts as it’s necessary.

Think about it in way like this. You’re an adult, you’re feeling sad and someone simply tells you they cannot comfort you because you wont learn to ‘self soothe’ and you’ll be clingy, not leave them alone.

I don’t know about you but this would utterly break my heart and I’d no doubt end up crying even more.

So, before you head over to a new parent and tell them to put their baby down to cry, stop and think about how you’d feel. But more importantly, how you’re making those new parents feel.

Oh and Mums, Dads? When you head over for your newborn session here, you’ll get nothing but praise for all that love your giving to your baby.
But I reeeeally want to get in on those baby hugs… ok? haha!

From a Mama bear of three very hugged, very confident, very incredible young boys.