- You know, since our eldest son was little, so many people feel they can have a say on his hair.
It’s like they think they have some sort of right? I can tell you know, they don’t.
Now being 8, he knows what he wants, and that is his long beautiful hair.
Zishan was born with straight, jet black hair, which pretty soon fell out. Little did we know the incredible locks he was soon to grow. He had his own little afro at age just one.
By age two, he was having his braids in. He sat well for them as long as he had chocolate and BabyTv. I know, bribes and children. However, you do what you have to do.
It was apparent we weren’t going to be cutting his sweet hair, and this is where many people liked to put their two pence in.
For many years Ive stayed polite about it, but as time went on, I saw the reaction in his little face. ‘Isn’t she beautiful, oh her face is so lovely’. And at first it confused him. He knew he was a little boy so why does everyone talk to him like he is a girl?
It wasn’t even just random people on the street who would say it either, and thats when it hurts more. ‘Time to cut his hair!’ ‘He looks like a girl’. Sure, many would say to ignore it, but I’m not one to when it affects my little boy. Some would even ask what the problem is. He is a little boy, that is the problem. A little boy who loves his long hair. Hair that many people would love to have!
Just recently, I decided enough was enough.
We were in a local shop when two women commented on it. They told me how beautiful it was, so I thanked them and carried on packing my shopping. Within moments, one of the women turned to me and said (with hand movements) ‘are you going to cut it?
I responded quite sharply, ‘No. Why would we?’
With this, she replied ‘He’s a boy?’
Deep breaths mama. Think. Think.
But I didn’t need to think, I just let my mouth do the talking.
Now, I’m done with being polite when people say this, especially in front of him as if he doesn’t have a choice with his body. He said he loves his it and I said I do too. I then carried on asking her ‘but why would I cut it?’ She repeated ‘because he’s a boy.’
I wasn’t leaving it there. I asked ‘why because he’s a boy would I cut it? Boys have long hair too, it doesn’t change who he is, his gender etc because of his hair. Would you cut a girls hair?’ She said no.
I asked her once again, why should I cut his hair? She smiled and didn’t know what to say. Backed into a corner by a mother who is DONE with people having an opinion on her sons hair.
He saw my anger as we left, and said that his hair doesn’t change him as a human being and it’s not up to anyone else.
That’s my boy.
You wouldn’t go up to a parent of a little girl and tell her to cut her daughters locks, so why do that to me? A mother of a son with long hair. Absolutely no reason than old ways of thinking. This boy right here has better hair than many I know, including myself (so envious, I cannot lie). I have three sons and they wont be cutting theirs any time soon. So you’ll just have to get comfortable with that.
His new response when people call him a girl? ‘No, Im a boy, I just have better hair than you’.
Now, when you feel you can approach a parent with your thoughts on how YOU believe a child of whatever gender should look…. don’t.
I love your website, and I especially love this articles.
Good job! (coming from a mom that has a son with boy hair as he calls it). I get so tired of Karen’s not minding their business, even family. Not to long ago unfortunately I had to read my mom her rights because for about 2 years she kept picking at us about his hair and even worse started talking behind my back making assumptions that my then 4 year old son was gay!
It’s his decision if he wants it cut because I love watching how long it will actually grow. Now, the only time I would step in and say let’s cut if and only if I seen flimsy girl ways, and for him that has NEVER been a thing. He is very secure, confident, macho, very athletic and is truly a 5 year old Alpha Male.
This is a beautiful and sweet article. I have a 3 year old with beautiful long hair with big curls and he is all boy.. he is just beautiful and free also. I noticed more small boys with this same wild and carefree look. If he ever asks me to cut it I will. But if he looks like a litte surfer dude later I am cool with that
There are a few things parents do to their children that children later regret. putting his hair in pigtails is like asking for trouble. His hair can be long if he likes it, but be a little bit more wary of the hairstyles you put his hair into an then post it on the internet to be forever. These hairstyles are worn by inmates and awful rappers.
My son is fluorescent blond with really light skin and solid blue eyes and his hair is wavy-curly, when we were in quarantine and his hair grew longer I couldn’t believe that he looked like a doll and a friend of mine told me to put it in a manbun and I told her hell no, she was kinda confused because she had her 2 year old son with a manbun and it looked awful.
Anyways, my son already looks way too cute and with long hair he literally looked like a princess or a barbie so I decided to give him a “boy” cut to avoid having to deal with such comments daily. Some times I leave it to be a boy-bowl cut and that still makes him look like a boy.
You realize the world won’t change and since we belong to this world if we want to be left alone some times we need to protect ourselves (much more our children) from awful comments.
Respectfully, I completely disagree with what you have said. A hair style does not determine a gender. Comments like this add to the problem.
You saying that to your friend is crossing the line. Im sure her little one looked beautiful with his little man bun.
I wont cut my childs hair because it suits the world to have him ‘have a boy hair cut’. The world has to change.
I wont change my child because the world is too ignorant to educate themselves that hair doesn’t make a person.
How about people just stop making awful comments?
My sons love their hair so much, they are proud of it, why on earth should I take that away because Betty believes that boys should have short hair? No.
Oh and the pig tail comment? He chose it. He chooses how he has his hair every time. I wont disrespect his choices.
Your son’s hair is really beautifull, your right not to cut it. He is also old enough to decide for himself what he likes. So whatever what others think . My son, 4 years old, has the SAME hair, little shorter though. He hears a lot that he is a girl. Whatever…….🤗
Thankyou, so kind.
Some people are just ignorant I believe. But definitely rude. x