It’s everyday that you see people walking about, smiles on their faces. Little does anyone know just how close the people they see are close to a break down.
You see I’m open to admit I’m one of those people. Today has been a testing day for instance. With the weather being so awful this morning, my good friends had to cancel our girls day out. This was through no fault of their own, it’s just one of those things.
This was one of the first parts of the day to go wrong, first being my children and the school run. They’re fabulous, don’t get me wrong but it’s also a tough morning… every morning.
From getting my three sons out of bed, to the dreaded ‘get your shoes on!’ Most of us deal with that stress every weekday morning at the least.
I decided (with the help of a school Mum friends nudge) even though my friends had to cancel, to go to Westfields to have some shopping for me. Alone time, in the midst of thousands of people. It didn’t last long, Annie (my pet name for my anxiety) decided to pop in and let me know she was there, peering over my shoulder with the help of the feeling that 100 people were staring at me. Off home I went, but not without more hiccups. Trains, 4 of them cancelled.
WHAT. A. JOY.
Alongside this, my normally helpful husband is poorly so I’ve been making sure I’ve been doing as much as possible to be sure he stays in bed when he can. The more he rests, the faster he’s better to be back on his feet!
My cleaner has had to take an indefinite time off due to personal reasons so my home is screaming out for her but instead as she isn’t available, screaming into the abyss to be taken care of.
With clients here almost every day for their sessions and viewings I try my very best to keep the home looking beautiful. Its tough.
With the above, I am also dieting, and getting fit at home plus at ‘Your Gym’ to make sure I look and feel amazing in the all important Christmas dress for the works do my friend Gemma and I arrange each year.
Anyway, while tidying my kitchen today, I sat and realised I am super close to a burn out break down. The sides were messy, the sink hated me, and the recycle build up from all the (AMAZING) orders is overwhelming
I absolutely love what I do. This job is the BEST job I’ve ever have and will do forever, however I never know my limits. Like most of the photographers I know, we work and work and work until we drop. But I can bet even when we drop, we are editing on the floor haha!
With all the above and more, it puts me on edge to an easy burn out or break down. Thankfully I take my CBD oil almost daily or I don’t know where I’d be. Also it’s good to turn to a friend. I have a certain friend that this morning noticed a comment I ‘loved’ and immediately what sapped me to check I was ok. And did so through the day, even up to this moment. She always seems to know when to check in. Thankyou Miss Frankie.
Mental health is so important and we must take more care of ourselves. Self care is KEY. We just forget about it alot of the time. Because when we are doing self care, we aren’t doing the things we have planned, or the work we need to do.
I suppose this is a kick up the bottom for self too, to slow down for a moment.
Its ok not to be ok, it’s ok to sit and have a cry on the stairs while your children run riot even after you’ve kissed them goodnight and tucked them in.
In fact, that’s exactly what I just did. I’ll tell you what, it helps. Its fine to have a break down now and again, cars do it, so why can’t we 😉 Just make sure you get right back up.
Pssst, writing this has completely helped clear my head. Thankyou if you got this far!