When I first began my journey to becoming a photographer, I remember adding an album of photos I’d taken of my children. Little did I ever believe I’d one day enter the awards.

The title? ‘Practice makes perfect’

Fairly fitting, I’d say. I mean, you have to work hard to get something right.

On the album, there was a comment from someone I’d worked with from my model days. They wrote ‘Practice doesn’t make perfect’.
That little comment hit me, it did hurt. It was as if they didn’t believe that I could really do this, that’s how I felt anyway.

Not everyone wants you to do well, that’s a fact. Thankfully I had far more pushing me to go for it, than I did trying to bring me down.

One of my very first attempts to be a baby photographer. My son, Diddles.

That was 6 years ago. That was when I didn’t know my ISO from my Fstop, my Shutter speed from my white balance. It’s a mine field, and a constant journey.At the start, I had friends let me use their children as my models to practice and raise my game, this was so helpful, and grew my love for the industry. Never did I ever dream I could achieve the title I now hold, but I do and I am so excited every single time I say it. I’m that photographer!

I decided after seeing my friends win so much in 2018, that I was going to enter this photographer competition.

Their faces lighting up as they walk to the stage, their names on the huge screen alongside their incredible work. That was the dream. Can you imagine telling my children I had my name up there? Not even being a winner, but to see my work being recognised? WOW!

It took me a fair while to enter, I won’t lie. Being such an anxiety filled person, I doubted myself immensely.

January 2019, I attended SWPP. A photographers convention and awards ceremony. I went along to again root on my girls. And guess what? They won again!!

Gemma and I stood on the stage after a few drinks (well it was a child free evening) and I held the award that was embossed ‘Photographer of the year’. We all like to pretend, right? Just imagine!

For a giggle, we had a photo taken and I uploaded it to my Facebook. A friend commented ‘Wow I thought you had won that then, maybe one day!’. It got me thinking…

The after party, I spent time with Kelly Brown, an incredible photographer from Australia. World renowned, and also an SWPP judge.

Alongside Kelly was Gary Hill and Tracy Willis. We stood having a chat and I got a big kick up the bum to enter TNPS. (the newborn and portrait show).

I was told to stop putting other photographers on a pedestal, to stop thinking everyone is better than me. For that to come from someone as well known as Kelly Brown, it got me.

2 weeks before cut off, I began making sure my images and edits were perfect. I looked at my light, my posing, my shadows and for the meaning. But were they good enough?

1 week before the awards, I just didn’t know if I was good enough. Was I seriously entering such a huge competition against incredible photographers across Europe? Little old me, this small business Essex baby photographer?

Well, you don’t know until you try!

And so I entered. 2 in Print, 2 in digital.

4th May, I woke at 4am with horrendous pain in the right side of my face. Scrambling around in the dark, I decided to touch my face and see what was happening.
What was this?! My cheek was so swollen! I went downstairs, forced some fruit down me and had some pain killers.
I ca’t explain the pain. It was horrid. By the time I woke again, it had grown even further.

Emergency dentist time, and their reaction showed how bad an infection I had. I wasn’t surprised. A bunch of antibiotics and pain killers down me, I decided to go for a nap. (bare with me!)

I woke and as always, checked my emails.

Wait. I rubbed my eyes and re read.